Having it all.

If you had have asked me 5 years ago what I thought my life would look like today, I probably would have said that I would be happily married, owning my own home and getting ready to pop out the cutest little Asian baby you’ve ever seen. Life has a funny way of surprising you and filling your existence with people and moments that you never saw coming. It seems as though every single person I know is settling down into surburia while I’m waking up in the morning, spoon-feeding myself Nutella and checking my Tinder notifications. Recently more and more people from my home town (including family I haven’t seen for a long time) have been questioning why I haven’t got my shit together, well.. here goes.

Working in retail isn’t the dream and honestly, I think I deserve some sort of medal for every time I manage to get through a whole day without stabbing someone in the face. I actually want to write for a living but I also want to be able to pay my bills in the meantime. Just like every 90’s kid, I’m hanging onto hope that I will eventually be famous and be able to joke about all of the years I spent teaching the elderly how to send texts, putting on screen protectors and explaining why screaming at me from the other side of the desk doesn’t make you a hero. So, unless I want to make a sex tape and hire Kris Jenner to manage my social profile, I’m going to have to keep spending my days selling my soul to the retail machine.

If I ever forget to think about just how childless I am, Facebook is there to remind me. Every day someone else has shared the news that they are bringing new life into the world and don’t get it twisted… Anyone that has spent any time with me knows that yes, I do eventually want children, I’m just not ready for my uninterrupted 3 hour-long baths while on Facetime with my best friend to end yet. Not to mention that my reality includes spending all of my money on Lush bath products, make-up and vodka while watching RuPauls drag race religiously with my housemate. All going well, my body will do its magic and I will one day have a little bundle of delicately planned joy, until then, get off my damn case and stop being so jealous of all the time I get to spend thinking of only myself!

How are you even single? I know right?! Look, although I think I covered this perfectly in the last post, I am still very open to meeting new people. Recently, I met someone who is in the process of separating from their ‘controlling’ ex-partner, navigating the best way to ensure their children are least effected, spending every second day breaking up with their girlfriend/mistress/lover and all the while trying to prove they still have the freedom they so desperately crave… by sleeping with me. If that doesn’t turn you off being in a relationship, you are just as ridiculous as she is. It really is such a shame that it had to go back to “friends, no benefits” because only having to entertain someone one night a week would have been perfect.

No matter how happy you are living your life, there will always be people who either don’t understand the motivation behind the choices you’ve made or are dumb enough to truly believe that you care about the fact that they would have done it differently. Everyone has that one family member who looks at you with wide eyes and can’t fathom how you ended up so far removed from the way they imagined your life would go. The peanut gallery often forget that they were once in their 20’s too and wanted to party and explore and experience and LIVE. The peanut galley should always be ignored, because we know that their lives aren’t perfect either.

So, to all of the women out there who are constantly questioned about why they haven’t landed themselves a partner, bought a house, settled into a career or reproduced… put your middle finger up and tell those nosey Sally’s to go fuck themselves. It’s your body, your choice and your life. Stop allowing people to get into your head and manipulate you into believing that success means the same thing to everyone. There is nothing wrong with any of the choices that we make as long as they fill us with joy and since when did not having children, a partner or a mortgage in your 20’s make you a failure to the rest of society?

One day I know that I will enjoy waking up with my beautiful future children in my bed. I’ll send them off to school and set in for a day of writing in my home office. My partner will pick them up and we’ll eat dinner together; probably Calzones. I’ll be filled with joy as they talk to us about their day and all of the things they are learning. We will ensure that they feel loved, protected and supported in whatever choices they make while encouraging them to take risks and experience all of the weird and wonderful things the world has to offer. Hopefully my children will feel less pressure than I have to have it all figured out and are able to spend their time enjoying the journey.

Until then, I have about an hour before I have to go to work. I should probably put down the Nutella and get myself ready for another day of figuring out why Angry Man #874 is convinced that it is my fault that he put his phone through the washing machine. Wish me luck!

Love, P.

One thought on “Having it all.

  1. It’s the now generation that have the power to change that whole “pressure to settle down” thing. We’re the ones to tell our kids to dream big! You’re absolutely Right in saying, why should settling down and having kids and a house, be the pinnacle of life, especially at such a young age, when the world has SO much more to offer! Travel, experience new things and make a career before you make yourself settle! I will be telling my son that. I’m glad I waited until my early 30’s before having kids.

    Liked by 1 person

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