You know what doesn't spark joy? My fucking period. You'd think I would've managed to get used to shedding the lining of my uterus - it's only happened every month since I was 10. Yes, I was 10 fucking years old the moment I thought I had minutes to live. Convinced I was dying, I…
After a 13 year drought from the peen, I'm back on the horse - so to speak. People keep asking when I started to find myself attracted to doodles and to be honest, it's a super hard question to answer - haha 'hard'. I've always found men aesthetically attractive; and all the women and nb…
Well, who would have thought I'd be here again? I thought I was done with dating, but turns out I still had lessons to learn and the universe wasn’t done so I got caught in a perpetual shit show and a storm of emotions. Now that the sadness has lifted, I’m doing what any self…
It's almost my birthday and as usual I've got some shit to unpack so I can avoid taking it with me on my next trip around the sun. Why? Because excess baggage is unhealthy, unnecessary and pretty expensive. Plus, dealing with your shit is apparently all part of this adulting type deal so, there's that.…
Get out your ugly undies because it's that time of the month. The dreaded 3-5 days that comes around to destroy all plans and hopes of your future because the lining of your uterus is shedding and you are convinced this may be the time that your period actually kills you. Let's take this back to the start; the…
It’s hard to say exactly when my obsession with being a mother (and babies in general) all began but the more I think about it; I blame my Baby Born circa 1996, Leonie. While other little girls were begging their parents for The Beauty and The Beast on VHS and wearing every butterfly clip they could…
I've been 'dating' since I was 13 years old, well before I knew what dating actually meant. Back then, it was pretty much just me making out with my first ever boyfriend Arie for the entire 2 hours and 23 minutes of Pirates of The Caribbean and every movie we ever watched. Ahhh, that was…
I've been dreaming of living in Melbourne since I was 12 years old. I imagined I would live in an apartment in St Kilda, just like the characters on The Secret Life of Us. My super hot friends and I would drink on our rooftop terrace and play soccer across from The Espy. Now, my friends…
For the purpose of this experiment we're going pretend that you've met this great person and you've found yourself in a relationship with them. It's all sweet, fun and romantic. You're having the love affair to end all love affairs. Well, let's fast forward to the real shit. The bit that rears its ugly head…
My birthday is coming up. I'm turning 26. Alternatively, if you're a parent who refuses to refer to the age of your child in a year format, this little princess will be 312 months old. I've packed quite a bit into my years on this planet and have decided there are a few things that I won't…
